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Look to the stars

When you reach a certain point in your Life and you don't care what people think of you you have achieved a Freedom but you will have many people supporting you but you will have haters. I've reached that point in my Life when I wake up every morning I feel I need to make a difference somehow. Be it trying to grow my business, being more spiritual or learning something new. I used to be very self-centered and I only associated and opened up to a very select few. Now I like to meet new people and see if there's a better way to approach Life and see other people's points of view. I'd thought my dad and mom would be with me forever and we would have all the time in the World. Now they're gone and I struggle with that and I see that I need to move on but I just can't. The thing about addiction is that you give so much to it and it takes so much from you that you do don't realize it until it's all gone. You heard the cliche you are left with all these broken pieces of something beautiful you've managed to destroy and you try and put the pieces back together but its just not the same. You have to live with that and the memories will linger forcing you to find something worthwhile to occupy your time. But nothing adds up to what you had. Is it a test? Is God seeing how bad you want to make things normal again? Are you worth the risk? I struggle with that too. Am I worth it? is all this worth it? My mom instilled in me it is and I am. You just need to find it and when you've grown tired of looking for it that's when you really have to ask yourself and look deep inside your self. I think its out there and I will continue to look for it. I tend to sit outside and stare at the stars and realize this Life is just temporary but its worth it. There's something bigger and better out there that's hard to comprehend. In there meantime realize that we're lucky and we can make a difference in other people's lives. I'm challenging myself to be that person that helps when I can and not be selfish. You've come this far and and maybe the breakthrough will happen soon so keep working hard........

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